Highlights from American Dreams: ZZ Packer

Post date: Apr 24, 2017 6:52:56 AM

Fault is in the Stars

A terminally ill underage girl has one last wish, to visit her favorite author. The septuagenarian would not let her down to make her wish become reality, or at least a reality TV show, but not before he launches an investigation into how three million people, some dead, voted illegally after masterminding the Bowling Green massacre, thereby taking jobs away from hardworking, tax-paying, A-list celebrities who would otherwise have starred at his inauguration. When he finally remembers his promise to his underage siren, it's too late. She's no longer of this world. The septuagenarian spends his nights wandering the halls. He gazes up at the stars at night, vowing revenge against those that declined to attend his inauguration, and sure of one thing: the fault lies with them.

Go the F to Sleep

Every parent knows how frustrating it can be when their infant cries, whines, tweets throughout the night, refusing to fall asleep. Attempting to take away any sort of attachment item from him, be it a favorite toy, cell phone, or blue Tweety bird, could end in disaster. With the baby trying out its newfound autonomy, trying out new words to express his emotions, suddenly everything is sad, bad, glad. Whether you're a parent or in loco parentis, you just want your baby to go the F to sleep.